Now comes the time when I don't feel like staying at home and being all alone in my room. It's not that I don't like being at home. But sometimes I just feel that I wanna give myself a time to be let lose... I wanna stay away from my comfort zone... I was in my comfort zone too long... I just wanna walk forward and not to thinking about what happened behind me and the desicion that has been made. It's time to forward... Life is full with joy & happiness up ahead of me. I will not let myself fall at this moment of time... It's time to buckle up and drive to a foreign land... Try out something new... Feel the freshness of the breeze... I know somehow life has plenty of amazing surprises... And it is just waiting for me to seek for it... I will not care what people may think about what I typed in this note... Because it isn't about anyone... It is never meant to be about anyone... And if anyone felt impacted by this simple note... Well then keep it to yourself... If you somehow think it helps you... Let it be your motivation... Anyone that doesn't appreciate it then let it be...
I will show other people that I am weak... I will never show other people that I am fragile... I will never let anyone see that I am not good enough to present myself in front of other people... Somehow people might break our spirit in achieving our dreams... For us who has strong faith and desire, continue pursuing the dreams that you have waited for long... You might not know where you might and up... But all of this needs strong determination... Without any determination we can easily fall into a trap of failure... But failure doesn't mean that we fail forever... It is just another learning process that we need to go through in order to succeed... Many people will not believe what we can do and the potential that we've got... But never mind guys, as long as you believe in yourself... You are already a winner...
Yes, I know some of you might be curious about the reason why I am typing all this out... All I have to say to you is I am standing to myself... Giving this statement to tell you that I will do whatever it takes to achieve what I want... It's time I rise again and walk towards my victory... Someday I may fall again because those kind of thing will happen without any expectation... Anyhow I am not scared ! Because there's one person that will help me go through all this... That person will GOD Himself... He knows what is inside our hearts... He knows everything that we have in our mind... And He Himself will make the decision on what is right or wrong towards the things that we have in our mind... I realize that sometimes we blame God for not answering our prayers... No matter how hard we prayed nothing will eventually happen... And I lay on bed and ponder... Why is do we call God a "MIGHTY GOD" and yet He cannot help us in midst of our sad time ? And the answer that I get is that sometimes what "WE WANT" is not right in front of His eyes... So there's no other reason that God doesn't listen to us... Even if the things that "WE WANT" may be a good thing... Somehow some things need to happen depending on the season...
Let me just share one simple testimony of my life with you... I am not forcing you to continue reading this... But if you are curious you can proceed... I don't mind... I rather you read people's testimony and not doing other worthless things and learn how develop your own testimony and share it to other people... It started out like this... I was almost on the midst of giving up the things that I do everyday... Well, not complaining but if you know it just keep to yourself... But somehow I feel that God doesn't want me to give up... He still kept me to where I was and continue pouring His blessings towards... I believe He even send His angels to surround me... I am thankful enough to God... But somehow I did not really notice and tend to take things for granted... Still being stubborn on putting my own mindset and do things my own ways without even thinking about God... It's not that I have forsaken Him or what... I still put God first everyday in my mind... It's just how I am in life... I take things for granted towards many things that is in front of me... I did not do it on purpose but it just happen... I think it's because I got use to it since I was young ? I grew up as the only child in my life... Life wasn't as easy as many of you think... Being the only child in one family isn't easy when you are not living with your mom & dad... You will feel the loneliness inside your heart because there is no one who really understands you and what you are thinking... And I have limited boundaries on being around my friends when I was very young... Not to say I have a huge pressure on high expectation from my family members... Everything is that easy... But I was very lucky to have grown up in one very loving and caring united family... And I thank God for that... And you too should appreciate your family members... They sometimes get you up to your limited levels... But hey! They still give you shelter right ?! So you know what to do...
Oh yea, I had this very very weird dreams for the past three nights... It was very scary... The dream that I dreamt of was very brutal... If it's not about me bleeding to death then it will be me watching other people bleeding to death... Gosh ~ And everything that happens in that dream was so real... It kept on going for the last three nights... I don't feel the fear of closing my eyes... I just feel the fear when I start to dream about it... The first dream that I had was about me stuck in this very very dark place in which you can't even see anything in front of you... The situation was like when you close your lights in your room and you can't even see a thing... Of course you feel scared right ? Scared you might trip when you step on something... But my dream was different... Even though it was dark, I still can see shadows walking around me... And the shadows that I saw has certain emotion like sad, depress, frustrated, regret, and so on... I felt very scared and sad at that very moment as I saw them... And then suddenly there is this bold old man come to me... He looked like a Chinese old man with his short pants, blue Adidas jacket and a pair of flip flops... Cool aye ? He approached to me and said: "Why are you here? Do you know that people like you doesn't suppose to be here? This a place where you come and you can never go back. All the people here regret that they've came here. Take a look around and tell me what do you see. Everyone here had done bad things in their past. Since you are here. How do you think you can go back?" And then I tried to run... Run as far as I could... But it was dark, and no matter how far I run and shout I will still go back to where I was... I still can recall the image inside my head right now... It is very clear to me indeed...
Now let me share to you the second dream that I had... My dreams will be a little bit scary to you but I will try to make it not that scary so that you can continue reading it through... In this second dream that I had... I was back in my hometown spending time with my family members... Everything was so good and fine... And then suddenly there is a news saying that the Japanese will have their 3rd attack in my hometown... And then I got scared... I was thinking and asking myself what should I do in order to save myself from this scary moment... And then one of my family members said the Japanese is almost reach to our home and they are trying to surround our house... There won't be another way to escape... All of us will surely die... And then I don't know why I told my grandma that I wanna suicide and die before I get brutally killed by the Japanese soldier... And at the very moment I looked out of a small hole from the door... I saw people dying being shot by the soldiers... My heart was pumping even more faster than I usually do... Gosh ~ And then I decided to take one grenade and swallow it... What a bad way to die... And then I was dead because the grenade exploded inside my body... I saw my body shattered on the floor... My spirit was floating around the house watching my grandma cried watching me dead... And I was floating to the back of the house my granpa's sister saw me... I was stunned when I saw her talking to me... I was thinking to myself... I am dead... How can you see me ? And then she say to me "Why did you have to go first from this family?" I see tears coming down from my spirit... Yet I felt curious... How can tears came down from a spirit... And the whole floor was filled with tears... And then I woke up... Funny dreams...
Actually there are another 2 dreams I wish to share with you... But that one I rather tell you myself... That would be more interesting... So for those you sees just asked me about it if you wanna know... Throughout all the dreams that I had... I feel like there is a sign from God... A sign that I should share this to the people around me... Especially the youths who are far away from God in their lives... But anyhow, the MOST IMPORTANT thing now is to pray to God every now and then... Don't give up in whatever things that you are doing... Just make sure it is right... God is always with us and watching over us... Thank you for sparing your time just to read this note =)
Sincerely
Banjo
I will show other people that I am weak... I will never show other people that I am fragile... I will never let anyone see that I am not good enough to present myself in front of other people... Somehow people might break our spirit in achieving our dreams... For us who has strong faith and desire, continue pursuing the dreams that you have waited for long... You might not know where you might and up... But all of this needs strong determination... Without any determination we can easily fall into a trap of failure... But failure doesn't mean that we fail forever... It is just another learning process that we need to go through in order to succeed... Many people will not believe what we can do and the potential that we've got... But never mind guys, as long as you believe in yourself... You are already a winner...
Yes, I know some of you might be curious about the reason why I am typing all this out... All I have to say to you is I am standing to myself... Giving this statement to tell you that I will do whatever it takes to achieve what I want... It's time I rise again and walk towards my victory... Someday I may fall again because those kind of thing will happen without any expectation... Anyhow I am not scared ! Because there's one person that will help me go through all this... That person will GOD Himself... He knows what is inside our hearts... He knows everything that we have in our mind... And He Himself will make the decision on what is right or wrong towards the things that we have in our mind... I realize that sometimes we blame God for not answering our prayers... No matter how hard we prayed nothing will eventually happen... And I lay on bed and ponder... Why is do we call God a "MIGHTY GOD" and yet He cannot help us in midst of our sad time ? And the answer that I get is that sometimes what "WE WANT" is not right in front of His eyes... So there's no other reason that God doesn't listen to us... Even if the things that "WE WANT" may be a good thing... Somehow some things need to happen depending on the season...
Let me just share one simple testimony of my life with you... I am not forcing you to continue reading this... But if you are curious you can proceed... I don't mind... I rather you read people's testimony and not doing other worthless things and learn how develop your own testimony and share it to other people... It started out like this... I was almost on the midst of giving up the things that I do everyday... Well, not complaining but if you know it just keep to yourself... But somehow I feel that God doesn't want me to give up... He still kept me to where I was and continue pouring His blessings towards... I believe He even send His angels to surround me... I am thankful enough to God... But somehow I did not really notice and tend to take things for granted... Still being stubborn on putting my own mindset and do things my own ways without even thinking about God... It's not that I have forsaken Him or what... I still put God first everyday in my mind... It's just how I am in life... I take things for granted towards many things that is in front of me... I did not do it on purpose but it just happen... I think it's because I got use to it since I was young ? I grew up as the only child in my life... Life wasn't as easy as many of you think... Being the only child in one family isn't easy when you are not living with your mom & dad... You will feel the loneliness inside your heart because there is no one who really understands you and what you are thinking... And I have limited boundaries on being around my friends when I was very young... Not to say I have a huge pressure on high expectation from my family members... Everything is that easy... But I was very lucky to have grown up in one very loving and caring united family... And I thank God for that... And you too should appreciate your family members... They sometimes get you up to your limited levels... But hey! They still give you shelter right ?! So you know what to do...
Oh yea, I had this very very weird dreams for the past three nights... It was very scary... The dream that I dreamt of was very brutal... If it's not about me bleeding to death then it will be me watching other people bleeding to death... Gosh ~ And everything that happens in that dream was so real... It kept on going for the last three nights... I don't feel the fear of closing my eyes... I just feel the fear when I start to dream about it... The first dream that I had was about me stuck in this very very dark place in which you can't even see anything in front of you... The situation was like when you close your lights in your room and you can't even see a thing... Of course you feel scared right ? Scared you might trip when you step on something... But my dream was different... Even though it was dark, I still can see shadows walking around me... And the shadows that I saw has certain emotion like sad, depress, frustrated, regret, and so on... I felt very scared and sad at that very moment as I saw them... And then suddenly there is this bold old man come to me... He looked like a Chinese old man with his short pants, blue Adidas jacket and a pair of flip flops... Cool aye ? He approached to me and said: "Why are you here? Do you know that people like you doesn't suppose to be here? This a place where you come and you can never go back. All the people here regret that they've came here. Take a look around and tell me what do you see. Everyone here had done bad things in their past. Since you are here. How do you think you can go back?" And then I tried to run... Run as far as I could... But it was dark, and no matter how far I run and shout I will still go back to where I was... I still can recall the image inside my head right now... It is very clear to me indeed...
Now let me share to you the second dream that I had... My dreams will be a little bit scary to you but I will try to make it not that scary so that you can continue reading it through... In this second dream that I had... I was back in my hometown spending time with my family members... Everything was so good and fine... And then suddenly there is a news saying that the Japanese will have their 3rd attack in my hometown... And then I got scared... I was thinking and asking myself what should I do in order to save myself from this scary moment... And then one of my family members said the Japanese is almost reach to our home and they are trying to surround our house... There won't be another way to escape... All of us will surely die... And then I don't know why I told my grandma that I wanna suicide and die before I get brutally killed by the Japanese soldier... And at the very moment I looked out of a small hole from the door... I saw people dying being shot by the soldiers... My heart was pumping even more faster than I usually do... Gosh ~ And then I decided to take one grenade and swallow it... What a bad way to die... And then I was dead because the grenade exploded inside my body... I saw my body shattered on the floor... My spirit was floating around the house watching my grandma cried watching me dead... And I was floating to the back of the house my granpa's sister saw me... I was stunned when I saw her talking to me... I was thinking to myself... I am dead... How can you see me ? And then she say to me "Why did you have to go first from this family?" I see tears coming down from my spirit... Yet I felt curious... How can tears came down from a spirit... And the whole floor was filled with tears... And then I woke up... Funny dreams...
Actually there are another 2 dreams I wish to share with you... But that one I rather tell you myself... That would be more interesting... So for those you sees just asked me about it if you wanna know... Throughout all the dreams that I had... I feel like there is a sign from God... A sign that I should share this to the people around me... Especially the youths who are far away from God in their lives... But anyhow, the MOST IMPORTANT thing now is to pray to God every now and then... Don't give up in whatever things that you are doing... Just make sure it is right... God is always with us and watching over us... Thank you for sparing your time just to read this note =)
Sincerely
Banjo
